minoanmiss: A Minoan Harper, wearing a long robe, sitting on a rock (Minoan Harper)
minoanmiss ([personal profile] minoanmiss) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2024-07-19 12:48 am (UTC)

can’t help but feel that the life I should be living was stolen from me

Sir, has your son changed at all from the day he was born or is he still 7 pounds and going through 10 diapers a day?

What I mean by my snark is that one aspect that stands out to me about many letters complaining about parenting is that people seem to assume this most dynamic of occupations has brought them to a place where they will stay forever and ever unchangingly. One thing that amazed me about the children I used to live with was how often they changed. New developmental stages meant both pleasant and .... unpleasant ... developments, but things keep changing, and how the children and I related to each other kept changing.

It strikes me that this otherwise excellent reply could have used a reminder of that idea. I mean, in 7 or 8 years they may be able to take their little man to a fine dining restaurant or a play. Or they may not. But I kind of wish that idea were brought up, that as the kid keeps developing they may reclaim some of what they gave up when he was little, and enjoy it further in sharing it with him.

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