That's fair, I can see how it might be prudent to ask before sending money (especially when we don't know how much LW sent, and that LW's parents-in-law want to pay LW back and this is said to be a hardship, that implies it was probably a non-trivial sum of money), and not every family has the same level of closeness re: issues going on in the family and who knows what.

Yeah, the persistent anger from LW's husband bothers me.