Oh my gosh, "I'm taking these children away from you and you will not see nor interact with them again” would be TERRIFYING and absolutely warrant a grudge!
(I have a wonderful 12-yr-old in my life, in addition to my biological daughter, who I love as a second child but have no legal rights to, so I very much understand and sympathize with that concern.)
I just hope that, since the LW is an adult, the adoptive parents can unbend and allow the LW to have an easier relationship with all the parental figures in their life, including being civil with the birth father on LW’s milestone occasions, rather than making LW feel torn or choose between them (which is a lot more likely to cause resentment than graceful acceptance of his presence.)
I can see why he felt like a threat when LW was 7, but he can’t take LW away, at this point... but they can push LW away by refusing to allow him a place in their life.
no subject
(I have a wonderful 12-yr-old in my life, in addition to my biological daughter, who I love as a second child but have no legal rights to, so I very much understand and sympathize with that concern.)
I just hope that, since the LW is an adult, the adoptive parents can unbend and allow the LW to have an easier relationship with all the parental figures in their life, including being civil with the birth father on LW’s milestone occasions, rather than making LW feel torn or choose between them (which is a lot more likely to cause resentment than graceful acceptance of his presence.)
I can see why he felt like a threat when LW was 7, but he can’t take LW away, at this point... but they can push LW away by refusing to allow him a place in their life.