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Dear Amy: My mother died almost 21 years ago.
On the 20th anniversary of her death, I was reflecting on her life, our relationship, and the ripples it sent through my life.
For better or worse, I posted my thoughts on Facebook. Our relationship had some huge ups and downs. She was a difficult person at times, and she said and did some pretty miserable things to me during the last five years of her life.
I did not go into specifics in the Facebook post, but I did say that the treatment I received colored my memories in a less than flattering way.
I summed it up by asking people to think about the effect their words have on the people around them.
My 32-year-old niece read my post and was offended. My portrayal wasn't the grandmother she remembered. She then blocked me.
She showed my post to my brother, who proceeded to berate me for my "anger,” and for forgetting that she loved me. He then said I need therapy to deal with my anger. That was the last I heard from him.
I saw a therapist for four months. After hearing all about my life, she marveled at my restraint.
Over these months, I've sent cards and gifts for special occasions, as I always have, without mentioning the ISSUE, but I’m wondering if I should respond and if so, how?
I believe they're upset because I didn't toe the "party line.”
— Distressed
( Read more... )
On the 20th anniversary of her death, I was reflecting on her life, our relationship, and the ripples it sent through my life.
For better or worse, I posted my thoughts on Facebook. Our relationship had some huge ups and downs. She was a difficult person at times, and she said and did some pretty miserable things to me during the last five years of her life.
I did not go into specifics in the Facebook post, but I did say that the treatment I received colored my memories in a less than flattering way.
I summed it up by asking people to think about the effect their words have on the people around them.
My 32-year-old niece read my post and was offended. My portrayal wasn't the grandmother she remembered. She then blocked me.
She showed my post to my brother, who proceeded to berate me for my "anger,” and for forgetting that she loved me. He then said I need therapy to deal with my anger. That was the last I heard from him.
I saw a therapist for four months. After hearing all about my life, she marveled at my restraint.
Over these months, I've sent cards and gifts for special occasions, as I always have, without mentioning the ISSUE, but I’m wondering if I should respond and if so, how?
I believe they're upset because I didn't toe the "party line.”
— Distressed
( Read more... )