Annie's Mailbox: Accused of Molestation

[cereta]

Dear Annie: My bullheaded 50-year-old daughter has taken gossip from 32 years ago to make my life a living hell.

I have four grown children. My older daughter called everyone she could think of and told them I molested my son when he was 5. My daughter never checked to see whether it was true. I have never been arrested for this or had charges filed against me. She further told all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren that they should never stop at my home.

I am 74 years old, have trouble breathing and have cancer that is currently in remission. I want to see my family before it's too late. My daughter called my sister-in-law and told her she will not go to my funeral when I die. I have been denied visits and phone calls from family members for three years. I desperately need my family to visit. -- Sad and Lonely

Dear Sad: You say charges were never filed, nor were you arrested, but you haven't said that you are innocent of the accusation. If the gossip is true, we completely understand why your daughter would want everyone to stay away. If it is not true, you need to make it clear to the rest of the family that your daughter is spreading lies. Please ask whether she would be willing to go with you for counseling to clear this up and to see whether there is any possibility of reconciling before it is too late.

Comments

[syderia]

Aside from what everybody else has said: where's the son? Why don't we get his take on this?

[eleanorjane]

Yeah, that was my thought.

And more to the point: if I were the son, I'd be pretty fucking pissed off at my sister, tbh. Where's his right to privacy, and his right *not* to have a pretty major violation and potential source of shame and grief become Family Drama 2k18 Edition?

[jadelennox]

The fact the Son was never mentioned by LW made me suspect that either Son was dead (and if so, were there self-harm / addiction problems causing Daughter to lay the death on the molestation's doorstep), completely estranged (ditto), or has been making this accusation for years and has been ignored. If Son were alive, present, and angry at Daughter, I would think that LW would use that as proof that they were in the right.