DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a vegan since high school with no intention of stopping. My fiance, however, is an avid meat, dairy and egg eater. I don't care about what he chooses to put into his body, but we have been fighting about food preparation recently. “Alan” hates the plant-based lifestyle, and gripes that I won't just cook him a steak. I tell him he has the complete green light to go to the store, buy himself a steak and cook it. Since Alan doesn't want to do the food shopping or cooking, I tell him to suck it up or start being proactive. Is this too harsh? We've been fighting about this for over a year. -- Sticking to My Plants, Greenwich, Connecticut
DEAR STICKING TO MY PLANTS: If you and Alan are to be married, you two need to work this out. Would you be willing to cook all of the meals if he were to become vegan? If so, that means you are putting your foot down simply because he chooses to eat differently than you. That may not be the best way to start your marriage.
If your intention is to be the primary cook, you may want to learn how to cook a few meat dishes. By giving in a little, you can create space for the two of you to grow together. You may be able to introduce some of your favorite foods to him and get him to eat less meat over time, too!