cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2017-05-20 10:28 am
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Dear Abby:Silent Treatment Speaks Volumes About Husband's Insecurity


DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband I love deeply and can't imagine my life without. We have a beautiful marriage. We never fight or really even argue.

We have been together for 11 years and only during the last couple of years has he started doing something that troubles me. In the afternoon or evening, if I need to go to the store -- or anywhere for that matter -- he gets upset and gives me the silent treatment and doesn't want me to go.

I trust him and let him do whatever he wants. I have never given him a reason to not trust me, so why does it make him so angry if I need to run to the store? I feel I deserve the same respect and trust that I show him. How do I make him see how much it hurts me for him to act like this? -- FEELING MISTRUSTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FEELING MISTRUSTED: What you are describing is a red flag that if ignored could ruin your beautiful marriage. Your husband's insecurity and need to control you may stem from the fact that he has been hiding something from you. Tell him that you love him, but for the sake of your marriage, the two of you should go to couples counseling.
the_rck: (Default)

[personal profile] the_rck 2017-05-20 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm wondering, too, how old the husband is. If he's older, this could be a sign of a health problem like Alzheimer's that needs to be addressed. I'm mainly wondering about age because the LW doesn't say 'after work.' There's also no information about whether the husband leaves the house himself. If he doesn't, that could indicate an entirely different problem to be addressed.

At any rate, I'm not inclined to jump straight to 'he's cheating, so he thinks you must be, too.' Going to couples counseling, yes. That would be a good start and a necessary step.
xenacryst: Spock, from Errand of Mercy (Ridiculously Attractive Spock)

[personal profile] xenacryst 2017-05-20 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm, yeah. He's scared or insecure, and to me, the question isn't (just) "how do I make him see how much it hurts me" but (also) what's making him scared or insecure and what can be done to address that. Health concerns are certainly a possibility, but without more info it's kind of speculation.
vass: A sepia-toned line-drawing of a man in naval uniform dancing a hornpipe, his crotch prominent (Default)

[personal profile] vass 2017-05-20 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
What confuses me is that she doesn't seem to have asked him about this, and Abby jumps right to couples counseling without advising having a conversation first.