cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2017-03-27 05:41 pm

Dear Abby: pet-sitting father finds more than cats at son's place


DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently moved, taking jobs that are closer to our son and daughter-in-law. They have no children but want to start a family, and we are praying for our first grandchild.

When they take business trips (which is often), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bedroom (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatomically correct sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I'm no prude, but should I say something to my son? We have an excellent relationship. I'm concerned that he may need some fatherly advice if they are having conception problems. What do you think? -- CONCERNED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CONCERNED: In the interest of family harmony, keep your advice to yourself unless you are asked. If they are having "conception problems," rest assured they will find their way to a fertility expert without your assistance.
the_rck: (Default)

[personal profile] the_rck 2017-03-28 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe advice about being thorough in putting away things that might shock his pet sitters? Seriously, I don't see anything else to talk to him about.
jadelennox: Sheela na gig (happy carving with exaggerated vulva) (tmi)

[personal profile] jadelennox 2017-03-28 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
I have a back burner horror that one day I'll leave a sex toy out and my mum will see it when she's in my bedroom for some reason. If that ever happens, I hope to god she never, ever tells me.
the_rck: (Default)

[personal profile] the_rck 2017-03-28 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
My current fear is more about my thirteen year old seeing something that shocks her. She's in and out of our bedroom a lot. I know she really, really doesn't want to think about her parents having sex, but I'm not sure she could keep herself from telling us how gross it all is.

Of course, she tried to convince me today that Wikipedia was a good place for her to go to find information about sex. She was more than a little indignant when I laughed and suggested Scarleteen.
sathari: (Brain transplant no thanks)

[personal profile] sathari 2017-03-29 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Your parenting advice (specifically re: scarleteen vs. wikipedia) gives me joy. I hope your daughter will, literally, go there.
left_turns: (Default)

[personal profile] left_turns 2017-03-28 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
I did that exactly once.

I'd been watching my folks' place for a couple weeks and forgot to take something out of the bathroom after I'd washed it, and didn't remember it until after they got in that evening. I'm not sure they saw it before I suddenly realized and grabbed it, since no one has ever said anything about it to anyone else.

But yeah, only did that the once.
rymenhild: Manuscript page from British Library MS Harley 913 (Default)

[personal profile] rymenhild 2017-03-27 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm willing to bet they know that toy won't get her pregnant.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)

[personal profile] kaberett 2017-03-28 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Or, indeed, him.
the_shoshanna: stick figures walking wheelbarrow-style. Or having buttsecks. (buttsecks)

[personal profile] the_shoshanna 2017-03-27 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
What on earth does "an anatomically correct sex toy" have to do with possible conception problems? I mean, I assume the son knows that fucking a Fleshlight won't get either it or his wife pregnant, but beyond that these topics are completely unrelated!
jadelennox: Sheela na gig (happy carving with exaggerated vulva) (tmi)

[personal profile] jadelennox 2017-03-28 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm parsing Abby's scare quotes on "conception problems" as "I'm going to take you at your word that you are a naive papa who doesn't understand sex toys, but we both know you're just looking for an excuse."
watersword: Line drawing of a computer mouse and the words "Sorry, up late.  Internet porn." Quotation from House, MD. (Stock: internet porn)

[personal profile] watersword 2017-03-27 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh God I desperately want to see the response from [tumblr.com profile] thatbadadvice for this letter, because it would be glorious. My response is left as an exercise for the reader.
delphi: (Default)

[personal profile] delphi 2017-03-27 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I am horrified and fascinated by how Concerned got from "they have a sex toy" to "they are having conception problems." So many options spring to mind and all of them are beautifully nonsensical.
redbird: congnitive hazard, one of those drawings that can't work in three dimensions (cognitive hazard)

[personal profile] redbird 2017-03-27 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Probably via something like "if they were having PIV sex regularly, they wouldn't need a toy" (though I suspect that the letter writer thinks that only PIV is "really" sex). With unstated assumptions about how they're using the toy.
korafox: wheat field with cypresses (Default)

[personal profile] korafox 2017-03-28 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
I almost wonder if "conception problems" isn't code for "son is having problems with his equipment/one of them is disinterested in sex" because I cannot imagine what kind of fatherly advice would possibly result in livelier sperm/eggs. Unless it involves sitting in peaches. :-)

(And yes, the whole letter is full of extremely bad assumptions.)
melissatreglia: (forever knight (nick) - WTF?)

[personal profile] melissatreglia 2017-04-07 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear Concerned Dad:

What your son and his wife do behind closed doors is none of your damn business. When, if or how they choose to conceive is none of your damn business. Waiting to have children isn't the same as having conception difficulties and is, again, none of your damn business. If they ARE having legit conception problems, it is none of your damn business.

Leave your son and his wife to themselves. Your opinion on their sex life would embarrass and shame them, and they will be looking for a less nosy cat-sitter and spending less time hanging out at your place.

They are adults; they are fully capable of doing whatever the hell they want on their own time. Mind your own damn business.